A Visit From Father Christmas - Carson Style
by olehistorian
Summary: A re-telling of the classic Twas the Night Before Christmas or A Visit from Father Christmas. This offering is loosely based on the Text Santa 2015 sketch when Charles Carson was enlisted as Santa and my interpretation of what might have come after; Elsie seemed awfully enamored of her husband dressed in Father Christmas's robes. Rated T for a little holiday naughtiness.


**A/N: First, if you haven't seen Text Santa 2015, you should do so; you may find it on YouTube. Charles Carson is enlisted as Santa and the whole sketch is priceless. Second, this offering is loosely based on that sketch and what might have come after. Elsie seemed awfully enamored of her husband dressed in Father Christmas's robes. Third, I'd like to thank chelsiesouloftheabbey and chelsie-carson (hogwarts duo, here) for their encouragement, beta work, and helping to brush up glitches in cadence. Thanks, ladies. You rock! Finally, I hope you all enjoy and from my home to yours, I wish everyone a Happy Christmas and Blessings for a Wonderful New Year ahead.**

 **A Visit From Father Christmas - Carson Style**

Twas the week before Christmas, and all through the village  
People celebrated happily be they young, old, or peerage  
Though Downton's Butler had only recently retired,  
He'd just been retained for a job positively inspired.

Though Mr. Talbot handsome and Mr. Barrow tall,  
It was the housekeeper's husband who fit the part best of all.  
So up to the attics trudged he and his missus,  
To find the box marked in red "Father Christmas."

Stripped down to his shorts, Charles pulled on the suit  
Red velveteen, white fur, and polished black boots.  
White gloves for his hands and whiskers for his face  
He looked to his wife who smoothed everything into place.

With a kiss to his cheek and a whisper in his ear,  
Elsie's words caused her husband to stir with good cheer.  
Just as he pulled his wife close for a kiss,  
Charles heard something he simply couldn't dismiss.

The crowds in the Great Hall were beginning to cheer,  
He knew they were waiting for Father Christmas to appear.  
So down to the hall husband and wife rushed,  
By the time they arrived, Santa's cheeks were quite flushed.

The adults applauded and the children cried with glee,  
Eagerly sharing their wishes as they sat upon Santa's knee.  
The party was merry and the decorations bright,  
Everyone was happy this pre-Christmas night.

Soon the children were sent to bed and the adults settled in  
For story-telling, singing, champagne, wine, and gin.  
The housekeeper was cheery with a twinkle in her eye,  
It didn't take Ol' Charlie long to understand exactly why.

So he bade the Crawleys and the others goodbye,  
He had a sleigh to catch that coursed through the sky.  
He rushed from the hall with the housekeeper not far behind  
Her skirts swishing furiously; their hands entwined.

They'd hurried home from the party post-haste,  
For Charles had known that there was no time to waste.  
They scurried as quickly as they could,  
Over the snow and across the wood.

When at last their cottage in view,  
Elsie searched in her bag and the key she withdrew.  
They flung open door and inside they dashed,  
With the heel of his boot Charles kicked it shut in a flash.

His wife wrapped all snug in his arms,  
Charles proceeded to work his considerable charms.  
With kisses tasting of shortbread and sherry,  
They both were left feeling more than a bit merry.

"Off to bed!" the housekeeper commanded.  
And to the bedroom soon they were headed.  
A few logs on the fire and the room now toasty,  
Santa returned to his bride whose cheeks were all rosy.

She was sat on the bed awaiting his attentions,  
She watched as his eyes in lust began to glisten.  
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,  
Soon let her know all she wished for lie just ahead.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,  
He rolled down her stockings, then looked up with a smirk.  
Soon, clothes were discarded with haste and hurry  
A dress, a corset, and a shift peeled away without worry.

Santa's boots and suit, were all tossed away  
He kept the red hat and the whiskers; Elsie insisted they stay.  
They fell into bed with giggles and kisses,  
Charlie loved the playfulness of his missus.

Whiskers tickled the bare skin of her thigh,  
"Upward, Upward," happily she sighed.

But perhaps it is here that we should take our leave,  
For Santa has gifts for Elsie to receive.

So, while the Carsons' passions ignite,  
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night!


End file.
